A learning environment offers teenagers a lot of time to plan their academic path and develop an idea of what they want to do with their lives. It also gives students time to decide whether or not they see a family in their future based on their own preferences.
It’s very common for young women to decide to have children, being part of human nature, but more and more girls are leaning towards not having kids in today’s society.
According to Stacey Meyer, she had never been drawn to having children when she was younger, since she was always very focused on school and her job.
“I always knew that having children was not something I wanted to put first in my life,” Meyer said.
Maddie Hurley ‘20 doesn’t want to have children when she is older. She could possibly see herself adopting a child, but has never been the type of person who loves the idea of having kids.
“The thought of actually carrying and having my own child is something I can’t even imagine seeing myself doing at this time,” Hurley said. “I really just don’t think I could have a baby inside of me, the thought of actually carrying someone in my body just makes me feel nauseous.”
According to Alison Laney ‘20, she has always known that she wants to have children, and she even sets her ideal number of kids at seven, but believes she may only end up having four kids.
“I’ve always wanted a huge family because family is the best thing in life and it’s something that means the absolute most to me,” Laney said. “I want a big family so I can build something of my own, like how my parents created my little family.”
Meyer thinks that a lot of her family and friends would question her decision, and she was often told that she would end up changing her decision of not having a baby.
“I feel like a lot of people find it wrong to not have kids, but it’s becoming more and more common for women not to have kids,” Meyer said. “I think that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
According to Hurley, besides not being able to handle the actual pregnancy, she also doesn’t like the idea of something living in the world that she created and not knowing what that person will do.
“Looking around and seeing the world I live in and the types of people that fill it, yes there are some amazing humans, but there are also some really awful ones and I don’t want to be responsible for that,” Hurley said.
Laney has been babysitting for years, so she has gained so much love for kids seeing them grow. She loves the relationship she has with her parents and she wants the same thing with her kids.
“I think my parents raised me so well, they had boundaries for me but also gave me room to be my own person and grow myself,” Laney said. “I want to raise my kids the same way so they grow up to be independent.”
According to Meyer, she hopes that young women do not feel pressured to have a child just because it’s expected of them, and doesn’t want young girls to feel like they can’t work or do what they love because they are expected to have children.
“Not every little girl will end up as a stay-at-home mother, and that’s completely fine,” Meyer said. “Many will end up staying at home and taking care of their kids, and that’s okay too.”
Hurley said in the future she sees herself studying really hard, working for a job that she is passionate about and traveling the world. She sees herself being successful and happy.
“I think there’s such a stigma today that you have to be married and have kids in order to be happy, but that’s very untrue,” Hurley said. “There are so many unhappy marriages and families as well as so many unhappy people, and just because I don’t want my own kids doesn’t mean I am going to be spending the rest of my life alone.”
Laney said she doesn’t judge people who don’t want kids, although she cannot see herself not having kids in the future, but that’s her own personal preference.
“My dream is to have a huge family, so it can sometimes sound weird to hear people say they don’t want kids, but it’s their own life and they can make their own decisions,” Laney said.
According to Hurley, she looks at the people around her and has come to realize that the majority have developed to be the way they are under the influence of their parents, whether it’s positive or negative.
“I am sure as I get older my opinions will change, since I may adopt kids, but I still don’t think I can see myself getting pregnant and having a baby,” Hurley said. “I also don’t see myself getting married, my opinions may change but I will not grow up to live a conventional lifestyle because I’m not really a conventional person, and that’s okay.”
According to Meyer, everyone should feel comfortable with their decision of what they want their future to look like, especially women, having so many expectations put upon them.
“A girl can decide to have kids, or not to have kids and to work her whole life, or become a stay at home mother,” Meyer said. “Every path of life a woman chooses should be widely accepted.”