Now halfway through my junior year, I see many of my peers go through relationships in high school. When talking to these people, most of them seem embarrassed or even ashamed to be dating someone. Phrases like “Oh, this is only to see if I’m truly interested in him” or “I don’t really like his personality, but at least he is attractive” are thrown around the halls when supposedly talking about someone who you deem to be a romantic match for you. It seems that many people date each other purely based on lust or even just to have the title of being in a relationship. None of which represents a strong relationship.
True connection has been taken away by the immature view high schoolers have toward relationships. I see relationships that are rushed, many never establishing a strong bond that would result in a healthy pair. I believe that most of this is due to lingering fear about authentic communication over “snaps” or single-word responses. These hurt what could be a strong bond, but are really undermined by the vague and distant responses we give out of fear of being seen as “too much” by the other person. As stated by the National Library of Medicine, “the need to address markers of earlier healthy romantic relationships in adolescence that may contribute to future well-being.” Having in-person conversations and being transparent with certain aspects that might strengthen your relationship is necessary to getting the most out of it.
The aspect of lust is also a large factor in most of these adolescent relationships. Time after time, I hear that someone is dating another person merely based on their looks; never do these couples last. The talking stage consists of nothing more than casual conversation due to how blinded you get by someone’s looks. The factor of someone’s looks can definitely be important when it comes to a relationship, though weighing it more than your connection with the other person is not going to help sustain your relationship.
When viewing high school relationships, a major action you must take is establishing strong communication. Without knowing your partner entirely, dating can feel vague and immature. Overall, dating in high school has lost its sole purpose: to bond and further engage with a desired person. Making the choice to stay single is not negative, but an opportunity to look deeper into what you find most valuable in a relationship.
