Is age just a number? For the average adult, a two-year age gap in a relationship is seen as normal, but for high school students, it can be the difference between a sophomore stressing about homecoming plans and a senior preparing for college applications.
Many students think of these relationships as exciting and adventurous, and most of the time, that’s how it feels. Teachers and adults may approach them with more caution as they notice the differences in maturity levels or social settings. South librarian Courtney Johnson says she was surprised the first time she became aware of an age gap relationship within the school.
“I didn’t even know they were common at all,” Johnson said. “When you get older, five years might not be a big difference. But in high school, when we’re still figuring out who we are personally, it can be shocking.”
From a student’s perspective, these relationships are usually misunderstood. To maintain any healthy relationship, especially in high school, taking maturity levels and life stages into account is important. Giuliana Long ’28 has been in an age gap relationship for the past three years. She believes that the different perspectives that are brought by her and her boyfriend’s one-grade difference are very beneficial to their relationship.
“I think that being in different grades has helped our relationship grow,” Long said. “Instead of going through the same things at the same time, we can give each other advice on the things we have already experienced.”
While maturity differences are emphasized by many students, others view age-gap relationships as completely ordinary. The grade structure can stand out far more than is thought to be necessary for some students. Addyson Powers ’28, who is currently dating someone in a different grade, sees others’ reactions as exaggerated.
“I think with my friends, a lot of them have dated people older or younger, so it’s not seen as weird at all,” Powers said. “When you are only a year apart, the maturity doesn’t really differ.”
In age- or grade-gap relationships, it usually comes down to the two people themselves. Prioritizing communication and respect helps to maintain a healthy relationship, even with grade barriers.
“High school is your time to start figuring yourself out,” Johnson said. “There’s no need to rush into it, you’ve got plenty of time.”
