Among teenagers, humor plays an important role in friendships. However, the line between light-hearted joking and not-so-funny teasing can be easily crossed. Some may think that their way of joking with friends is teasing, but the friends receiving the harm may not think it’s as funny as it seems. This difference in perspective between friends highlights the importance of establishing clear boundaries between friends. Being able to stand up for people you see getting picked on, or recognizing when joking turns into something harmful, is important and needed for creating a supportive environment.
Not all of the blame in a complicated situation can be put on the person doing the bullying. It can also be on the bystanders, not stepping in when needed the most. These witnesses can be classmates, teachers, administrators, coaches or even other friends. Grosse Pointe South’s school psychologist Lisa Khoury is an advocate for standing up when someone is in need.
“When people stand by and don’t do anything, that’s ridiculous,” Khoury said. “Even when you don’t know the person, not saying anything is just as bad as saying something mean.”
While some students struggle with knowing when and how to step in with friends, other students have figured out ways to know how to set that boundary with friends. Brady Magee ’27 has learned how to handle teasing his own way. His way of handling jokes that may cross the line from time to time, or how he tells his friends to take it easy, shows how drawing that line with friends and having confidence can keep healthy friendships.
“My friends are pretty good about knowing when jokes go too far, and I’m good at recognizing that also,” Magee said. “But when a friend says something off, I usually just tell them straight up to chill.”
While some students take joking like it’s nothing, not every student finds it as easy as Magee to brush it off. Knowing when and how to speak up in difficult situations with friends can be more challenging for some. Evie Baer ’28 admits that at times it can be a struggle to tell friends when their jokes go too far, a common battle most students go through as well.
“It doesn’t happen often when my friends go too far with a joke, but when they do, I’m trying to get better at telling them,” Baer said. “It’s harder than most think to speak with confidence when it happens in the moment.”
From teasing to joking, it can look different for everyone, but knowing how to draw the line in friendships is what is important for long-lasting connections. Whether it’s being a bystander, standing up for someone who’s being picked on, or learning how to talk about these specific boundaries with friends, these are all contributing to a more comfortable environment for everyone involved.
“If something occurs repeatedly, that’s where the joke crosses the line,” Khoury said. “If you feel like you can stand up, don’t do nothing, stand up and say something.”
