Walking into the grocery store in 2024 can be described in one word: overwhelming. How many options do people need to have when on the hunt for a new favorite item to chow down on? From what seems like millions of flavors of Pringles to billions of flavors of Doritos, the flavor variations seem endless.
Branching out from the reliable original flavors is not an endeavor for the faint of heart. We decided to take on this mission and do our diligence as reporters to seek out products that offer something different to the world than the original. In order to get to the bottom of this debacle, we tried three different variations of our favorites: “Salt and Vinegar Crisp Goldfish”, “Strawberry Milkshake Pop Tarts”, and “Hot and Spicy Cheez-Its”.
Salt and Vinegar Crisps – Goldfish
Beginning our review with the best snack variation by far, the ‘Salt and Vinegar Crisps Goldfish’ satisfied our hopes and dreams for the snack. The packaging stranded from the original bag, making them stand out on the shelf as we searched for the best flavor to try. After an initial smell that was exactly what we expected, it was time to try. First taste: wonderful. The texture deviates from the traditional cracker feeling, taking us by surprise in the most positive way. True to the name, this variation had the texture of normal Goldfish but was airier and tasted exactly like salt and vinegar. Unlike some of the other options we tasted, this product was advertised accurately; you got what you paid for.
Strawberry Milkshake Pop Tart
Moving down the aisle, past the salty snacks, we made a pit stop at the sweet section where we picked up our second snack variation: the strawberry milkshake Pop Tart. The outlandish flavor advertised caught our attention first, quickly followed by the packaging that announced “They’re back!”. We were immediately skeptical, seeing as the odd flavor was something neither of us had ever seen anywhere—especially not in the shopping carts of anxious customers who were excited to get their hands on these after their absence. The bright pink frosting that tasted only of artificiality left us wondering who wanted them back, and why did Pop Tarts listen?
Hot and Spicy Cheez-Its
As two people who don’t handle spice very well, we were curious to see how spicy these were, and how much strength would be required of our naive taste buds. Although we were nervous going in, we quickly found that we had nothing to fear, because, instead of being ‘hot and spicy’ as promised, they merely tasted like they had a little bit of extra seasoning. The flavor was nice, but a far stretch from the intensity promised on the packaging that we were not only bracing ourselves for but looking forward to.
Thanks to our Saturday spent seeking an explanation for the upturn in flavor variety, we came to a conclusion that rings true for many things: quality over quantity. While some variants can be nice, such as the salt and vinegar crisps goldfish, many other variants just felt like a marketing scheme that went nowhere, like the Pop Tarts. This isn’t to say that these brands are worth less for these endeavors, it’s respectable to try something your audience may like, but the overwhelming amount of variety is unnecessary and can make snack selection more complicated than necessary.
