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Dealing with the distance

Every set of siblings have their disputes, even when on is hundreds of miles away at college. The same is true for Lorelei Carr ’24 and recent South alumni Ava Carr. However, the two are extremely excited for Thanksgiving, when Ava Carr will come home for the first time since she left for Dartmouth College.

Lorelei Carr said she sees the two as a very close pair; they do anything from having serious conversations to going on night drives and acting stupid together.

“We’re pretty much best friends,” said Lorelei Carr. “We tell each other everything, but it’s definitely been different not having her live with me.”

Lorelei Carr ’26 and her sister Ava Carr embrace on the front lawn for a picture during track season 2023. (Stephen )

The two make attempts to stay in contact but with their schedules it becomes very difficult.. For Lorelei Carr, it really is a struggle, seeing as she can rarely talk to one of her favorite people.

“I try to talk to her, but we just both get really busy,” said Lorelei Carr. “I’m pretty sure I’ve only talked to her twice since she left in August. We definitely have a lot to catch up on.”

Ava Carr, now almost done with her first quarter of college, can’t wait to finally get a break. She’s most excited about seeing her sister and her friends.

“I honestly still talk to my parents a lot, which is nice,” said Ava Carr. “It’s definitely strange though. I’m so used to being around my sister and my friends 24/7, but we all have so much happening that we rarely even talk anymore.”

School psychologist Lisa Khoury said she has experienced the loss of a child to college, seeing as her son left for college, leaving his younger sister behind. She said that an older sibling leaving is a good opportunity for the younger sibling to grow.

“(My daughter) had sort of stepped back in conversations and let her older brother talk for her,” said Khoury. “Then all of a sudden there was no one to talk for her anymore and she had to start speaking up.”

For Lorelei Carr, her sister has influenced her throughout their entire lives, causing them to have similar interests and tastes. The loss of that influence on her everyday life has definitely pushed her to become a bit more independent.

“(Ava is) the reason I started doing distance running on track and she’s the reason I like certain foods and TV shows,” said Lorelei Carr. “It’s really weird now that I don’t have her to help cure my indecisiveness.

Khoury said it’s natural to mourn the loss of time with siblings; however, that time should be used to reflect on who the younger sibling is as an individual person.

Lorelei Carr ’26 and South alumni Ava Carr, strawberry picking in 2014. The two became very messy, getting strawberry all over.
(Ava Carr)

“I think it’s an important time for those who are sort of left in the nest to figure out who they are independent of their sibling,” said Khoury.

Ava Car is counting down the days until the two are reunited. She is hoping that the two can catch up and make an effort to stay in contact when she goes back to school.

“I think for siblings we’re pretty close,” said Ava Carr. “I’d say I got really lucky with my sister.”

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