“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know”, the famous starting lyrics of the classic song “White Christmas” by Irving Berlin, perfectly encapsulates the feeling that follows the holidays as many kids age. As I get older, my image of Christmas changes. As a kid, the best holiday imaginable consisted of toys, cookies, Santa and even more toys. Now my ideal holiday includes family, charity and religion. I am left thinking “what happened?” and “is a more mature holiday better than ‘the ones I used to know’?”
Everything changes with age, and, as teens, it is sadly undeniable that the carefree days of our youth are pretty far behind us. Therefore thoughts of holidays have changed. When I was younger, I heard stories of “Christmas magic”, but slowly I have seen that magic slip through my grasp. I still remember the first year that I didn’t sit on the mall Santa’s lap, or put out cookies and milk for a midnight visit, and as reminisce to write this story I feel deep regret. I wish that I told Santa my list one more time, wished I’d arranged cookies and poured milk for another year and that my childhood Christmas magic was still here.
As I have matured, Christmas is now many things other than Santa and magic. I see Christmas now for its religious origins, as the season of giving back and especially a holiday of unity. At this time, it seems that no one is united and everyone can feel lonely, but Christmas is a time to come together and support each other. I know that this year all I have thought of is my family. This will be the first Christmas since the passing of my grandfather, I have often thought about how best to support my family and my grandmother, So with new awareness and responsibility I do miss the magical naivety of youth. On the other hand, I also couldn’t imagine going back to when things weren’t as meaningful and cherished.
Even though I want to experience my nostalgia again, I can’t help but appreciate where I am now. In my life, Christmas has changed, and I have battled with both appreciation and sadness that the Christmases of my childhood are gone. I also know that my Christmases now will change. So this holiday season I am living in the moment, and trying my best to make lasting memories.
