Dear Grosse Pointe South,

I’m not quite sure how to say this, but I can’t be with you any longer. I’ve been trying for four years to make this relationship work, and at this point I’ve lost hope. I need to be fully honest with you and tell you this: I’m seeing someone else.

Geez, I’m sorry, I know I’ve led you on. I was with you nearly every day. I talked about you constantly. Heck, sometimes I even brought you home with me. But I can’t do this anymore, and it’s time to move on.

If we’re being honest, we never truly had feelings for each other. You were constantly seeing other people; I never felt special to you. And remember how we fought constantly? I said some pretty bad things about you. We’re just so very different. We don’t understand each other.

I’d like to think I’ve been a good influence on you. You used to be so uptight about exams, but remember how I got you to chill out last January? Omicron had people on edge enough as it was, without your ridiculously obsessive need to try to lower everyone’s grades. It was nice that you eased up on that for once. When you announced that you’d be bringing the exams back, without any change from their original (and let’s face it, outdated) format, I thought, “there you go again. . .why are you so afraid of progress?”
Plus, we’ve reached a point in our relationship where everything has become routine. We see each other for a bit, then we’re apart, then we’re together again. We no longer enjoy each other’s company. I’m no longer excited to see you and you are no longer excited to see me.

I’d be kidding myself if I hadn’t hoped that our relationship would get me farther out of dodge than Ann Arbor. But I can’t blame everything on you. I suppose it’s not entirely your fault that when you Google “Grosse Pointe” you’ll find loads of articles about the ways students and parents used the n-word and it made national news. I suppose you didn’t invite those crazies to protest mask wearing on the corner every morning.

But enough is enough. That’s not to say it was all bad— we had our ups and downs. You made me cry (more than once) and made me smile (but definitely made me cry more). We’ve both changed, in good ways and in bad. I think we’ll both come out of this better for the experience, but it’s time to say goodbye.

Remember, it’s not you, it’s me (it’s you).

No longer yours,

Evie Klepp